Dining in France: The Three Magic Words and How to Order

When you arrive at a restaurant, don't just grab an empty table. Wait at the door until a staff member shows you to your seat, and open with a cheerful "Bonjour!" You can switch to English afterward if you like, but to the French, that one word works like a highway fast pass. The more you use it, the better.

There are two more phrases just as important, and together the French call them the "magic words." Say them and you come across as polite, and you'll usually get warmth and friendliness in return, which is why children are drilled on them from a very young age. The first is s'il vous plaît, the equivalent of "please." When you order, add it after the dish you want. Leave it out and it's as if you were speaking informally to a stranger. The last is merci. Every time you're served, say merci instead of "thank you." Bonjour, s'il vous plaît, merci: learn just these three and you'll be treated with a confidence and courtesy to match any local's.

Next, the menu. Many French restaurants change their menus fairly often. The dish that changes daily is the plat du jour, or "dish of the day." You'll also see the word formule a lot, which simply means a set menu. Usually you can choose two or three of the starter, main course and dessert, so you can have starter and main, main and dessert, or all three. It's a good value, but you're always free to order whatever you like à la carte.

Then there's the question everyone has in a European restaurant: bread and water. The good news is that bread in France is free, unlimited and reliably delicious, so ask for more as often as you like. Tap water is free too, but you have to ask for it as une carafe d'eau. For bottled water such as Evian, Volvic or Vittel, say une bouteille d'eau normale. The French also drink plenty of sparkling water, which you ask for as l'eau gazeuse. Common brands include Badoit, San Pellegrino and Perrier. So how do you ask for tap water? "Une carafe d'eau, s'il vous plaît!"

As for paying, the traditional way is to settle up at your table. These days, though, many people prefer to go to the counter, get the bill and pay on the spot, since it's more efficient. In the guide's experience, the busy weekday lunch crowd mostly pays at the counter, while at a more relaxed, atmospheric dinner people tend to pay at the table.

Tipping is another frequent question. In France, tax is included in the menu price, so tipping isn't expected. If the food and service were truly outstanding, you can leave something, but there's no set percentage. Don't worry about it.